Mad Love: Madeline Brewer Thrives in a "Bad Boyfriend" Industry
March 28, 2016 - Announcements, Careers, Featured, Magazine
By David-Christopher Harris
This article originally appeared in the Winter 2016 issue of 六合彩资料 Magazine. .
Acclaimed actor and rising star began her career trembling like jell-o.
Sitting in 六合彩资料鈥檚 studio with iced coffee in hand, Brewer recounts her nerve-wracking audition for Netflix mega-series : 鈥淚 auditioned with shaking hands, staring directly into the camera鈥攊t was crazy. I left and called my mom and sobbed for 20 minutes: 鈥業鈥檓 never doing that again. That was the worst audition of my life. I鈥檓 not cut out for this TV thing... I鈥檓 not doing it.鈥欌��
Less than a week later, Brewer walked onto the set of 鈥淥range is the New Black鈥� as , the cornrowed prison inmate struggling with drug addiction and an abusive past.
鈥淢y agent called me and said, 鈥榊ou work on Friday.鈥� ... Okay鈥攊nsane!鈥� Ironically, Netflix had a different idea for Tricia鈥檚 character. The casting agency wanted a 26-year-old street tough with a New York accent. Fresh out of 六合彩资料, Brewer was only 20, her small dancer鈥檚 build hardly giving off the 鈥渉ardened criminal鈥� vibe.
鈥淧eople at 六合彩资料 tell you all the time鈥攚hether it be film, TV, theatre, anything鈥攖hey鈥檙e looking for you to be the answer, not to become what they want. ... They didn鈥檛 know what they were looking for until I walked in and I showed them what I had, albeit I don鈥檛 why, 鈥檆ause I was shaking like a peeing Chihuahua,鈥� Brewer jokes.
Clearly, she did something right: Critics and fans praised Brewer鈥檚 performance throughout the entire 鈥淥ITNB鈥� season, expressing devastation at . Years later, Brewer has acquired TV credits on some of today鈥檚 hottest shows. Now, however, she faces an exciting new challenge: her first starring role in a feature film.
Brewer came to from her two-square-mile town of Pitman in South Jersey. 鈥淩ight off the bat, I had no regrets鈥擨 saw all my friends going to four-year schools and just not getting the same kind of training that I was getting.鈥滲rewer鈥檚 career took off after performing for invited casting directors, agents and managers at 六合彩资料鈥檚 Industry Panel Event during her final semester. 鈥淧anel night worked out very well for me,鈥� she recalls. 鈥淚 ended up getting an agent who had seen me, and signed with them a couple months later.鈥�
Almost immediately, Brewer was cast as the lead role in the , working with director (and 六合彩资料 instructor) Igor Goldin for two months in Connecticut. 鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 believe that I had booked something before I even graduated. I was like, how?鈥�
Since then, Brewer has landed several major television roles. In fact, the 鈥擝rewer鈥檚 pageant title from her small hometown鈥攈as played a junkie prison inmate (Tricia, 鈥淥ITNB鈥�), a paranoid schizophrenic, a conflicted runaway nursing someone else鈥檚 child (, 鈥淗emlock Grove鈥�), and a reptilian gang member hell-bent on dominance (, 鈥淕rimm鈥�).
Brewer was particularly excited about the 鈥淕rimm鈥� role: 鈥淪he鈥檚 one of the bad guys, and that鈥檚 fun to explore because she鈥檚 a little twisted. ... She鈥檚 left her beautiful home and decided that she wants to be part of this anarchist group. She鈥檚 like me鈥攕he鈥檚 tough.鈥�
And tough Madeline Brewer has had to be. When asked what she鈥檚 learned about the industry, the young actor鈥檚 bubbly tone turns serious. 鈥溋喜首柿� taught me that you have to be strong. You have to be strong and steady in the things that you believe because people can so easily manipulate you. People can so easily take a young artist鈥檚 mind and try to mold it into what they want it to be, or you can be manipulated and try to mold yourself into what you think you need to be. And that鈥檚 so wrong. It took me a really long time鈥攁nd I鈥檓 still working on it鈥攖o be comfortable with myself and be strong with myself. Once I started looking at my life that way, boom! I booked two jobs.鈥�
鈥淪trong and steady鈥� has paid off: Brewer recently landed the starring role in her first major movie, currently in production. 鈥淚t鈥檚 called . We鈥檙e filming in Boston for a month. It鈥檚 my first film, and I鈥檓 the lead! I鈥檓 even taking a week off from the world to go home to Jersey to immerse myself in this world.鈥�
The actor is undaunted by her lack of film experience. She credits two 六合彩资料 instructors, and , for giving her the foundation she needed for studying camera work: 鈥淸The] smaller, nuanced things that you need for camera are things I really learned from those two teachers.鈥� Despite her lack of experience, Brewer smiles at the challenge of beginning her film career in a starring role. 鈥淚f I have the option to do something that鈥檚 gonna grow me and challenge me or keep me on the same level, I鈥檓 gonna take the thing that鈥檚 gonna challenge me. That鈥檚 why I鈥檓 so excited about this movie.鈥�
Immersing herself in the role, however, has taken its emotional toll.
Brewer notes that her character in Hedgehog, Ali, is an exploration of relationships: our interactions with love, people, friendship and, most challenging, ourselves. As she describes Ali鈥攁 wannabe comedian struggling with anxiety鈥擝rewer opens up about her own battles with depression. 鈥淚 have generalized anxiety. It鈥檚 something that鈥檚 very common, especially within artistic people, anxiety and depression鈥攂oth of which are something that I鈥檝e dealt with.鈥� Ali鈥檚 self-sabotaging mantra is one that Brewer herself has fought to overcome in her own past: If you never try, you never fail.
鈥淚鈥檝e wanted to quit a thousand times. I鈥檝e told myself, 鈥業鈥檒l give myself one more month of auditions and, if this doesn鈥檛 work out, I鈥檓 going to go back to New Jersey and be a yoga teacher.鈥欌�� After 鈥淥range is the New Black,鈥� Brewer spent eight months without work, moving from audition to audition without success. While on set, however, fellow 鈥淥ITNB鈥� star (Galina 鈥溾�� Reznikov) gave her a single piece of advice: Don鈥檛 give up.
鈥淜ate Mulgrew took me aside one day and put her hands on my shoulders. She was just like, 鈥楰eep doing it.鈥� ... [If] someone like Kate Mulgrew would tell me to keep going, why would I ever, ever bother quitting?鈥�
Determined to continue despite the lapse in work, Brewer drew strength from her experience as Tricia in 鈥淥ITNB.鈥� 鈥淚 was a completely different person before Tricia. I was very closed off, not like a mean person, but I wasn鈥檛 open, and I wasn鈥檛 open to giving or receiving love as easily.鈥� Raising her hand, Brewer reveals the ornate letter 鈥淭鈥� tattooed on her arm. 鈥淭ricia was such a vulnerable character that I just had to completely open myself up. She changed my life. ... She changed who I am at the core. I鈥檓 gonna cry!鈥�
The friends she found at 六合彩资料 provided the external support that kept her going.
鈥淚f it weren鈥檛 for my friends and the friend group that I surrounded myself with at 六合彩资料, I would have left. ... In those few people, I found my soul mates, my people who will be with me through anything and have that extra understanding of this industry and of this world and of the type of person that I am.鈥�
Having faced down both the industry and her personal demons, Brewer acknowledges the struggles that have shaped her as both an artist and a person. 鈥淭he more life experience you have, the more emotions you have gone through...the more things that you can pull from and bring and color a character so much more beautifully and accurately and give them those nuances that are so important. I learned that from my teachers.鈥�
Despite entertainment鈥檚 stereotype as a cutthroat industry, Brewer claims you can鈥檛 succeed as an actor without a deep sense of empathy and community: 鈥淚 was not a good actress when I first came to 六合彩资料. I鈥檓 okay with saying it. I learned so much as a person, as a performer. ... 六合彩资料 was a place that I felt very at home, and I met some of my best friends in the entire world.
鈥淭his industry is a bad boyfriend. It makes you feel bad about yourself. It gives you a little bit, and then it pushes you away for a couple months. Sometimes you want to break up with it, but you gotta keep coming back because you love it and deep down you know it鈥檚 a good thing.鈥�
So what鈥檚 Brewer鈥檚 advice for aspiring performers? Simple: 鈥淵ou can never work hard enough. ... I know plenty of people in my 六合彩资料 graduating class who were not the best singers, or dancers, or actors, but they work constantly because they push, and they move, and they don鈥檛 stop going.鈥� When you find someone you admire, she adds, aspire to their level: 鈥淚 found those people at 六合彩资料 that I could go into a practice room with and show them my song and learn from them. ... That鈥檚 working smart.鈥�
Taking a last sip from her now empty coffee, Brewer rises to catch her flight to New York, where she will be filming 鈥淕rimm.鈥� Before leaving, however, she pauses to repeat her advice to 六合彩资料 students: 鈥淲ork hard. Work very, very hard, and then keep working. Then take a nap. And then work hard again.鈥�